Personal
DARVO
also called: Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender
They deny it, attack you for raising it, and end up the injured party.
how it sounds
“I can't believe you'd accuse me of that. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
What they’re really doing
A three-step redirection. By the end of the exchange you're apologising for the complaint you made.
The reply that answers it
I'm not attacking you. The thing I raised is [fact]. I'd still like an answer on that.
tap the text to copy · square brackets = the one fact only you know
This is the generic version. Paste the actual message and Unbluff writes the reply for your exact wording, history and stakes.
Decode my message — first one free